A Sad Plight

           You started out as a young bubbly teacher always ready with a smile. without pretending. The torch burns brightly within as you slowly inched your way to becoming a new you....A TEACHER. Everything about me changed when I entered the DepEd family tree. I felt the peculiar feeling of being respected by people. Never wanting to hear from anyone that they disliked my behavior or didn't like the way I carried my uniform. Yes, I was every single bit of a perfectionist before who never thought would last to exist up to now. The burden of having to change your manner of speaking (I was opinionated then and somewhat  frank), the manner of dressing which I was totally comfortable wearing jeans and shirts (my pants with holes on the knee but I looked neat and not the addict kind of way. hahaha!), and the manner of speaking ( I was forced to speak a little softly and cautiously) I can't laugh out loud with my tonsils showing off, I told myself. 
        I started out with my Grade II class. Standing in the middle of the classroom having no idea of what to do with those staring innocent eyes. I felt like, "What on earth am I doing in here," I muttered. I was so nervous because I never expected that I would start out that day. I don't even have a Lesson Plan prepared. Gosh! I still grin thinking about that first hand experience. It was frightening! Honestly, I don't have any experience in teaching small kids. I cater to High School and College students. I ended up taking 18 units of teaching at the Philippine Normal University to qualify for the Board Exam for Licensure Exam for Teachers for me to be able to teach in the Elementary because it was easier to be absorbed in the Elem. They have more vacancies and more schools to apply to. Fast forward, I was promoted, so to speak to Grade 3, then and up to present, I teach Gr 5.
          I bowed to myself that I would be to the truest sense of the word...A TEACHER. In words and in deed. slowly, I worked my way. After barely 2 years of teaching in a pilot school for Special Science, I got promoted to teacher II.God was always there with me. Pushing me, inspiring, guiding, loving. Totally taking care of me because the climb wasn't easy. I was so new in my school when I was sent to train for the mentoring program for the NEPP. Nobody believed a newbie. It was hard. Heartaches from what you hear from people's comments.But I stood my ground. You can't please everybody. I know some are just giving me a hard time because they were afraid of the changes that will have to follow after.They were threatened that they have been in the school for the longest time and yet here I am, a nobody will mentor them. Fast forward again, I was given the chance to prove to them that I can. I know deep in my heart that God gave me talents. Talents in singing but I don't just want to be known in the school as someone who can just sing for the despedida parties and bienvenidas for colleagues. I know that I speak good English and I don't want that to go to waste and just keep it to myself. I need to share it to people. For if I will not, God will ask for the accounts of what did I do with my God given gifts? 
          Right now, I plan to work my way to the Masteral Degree. I can't seem to do it because of the financial situations at hand. I know I am not the only one in the education world experiencing financial constraints. I am just so saddened by the fact that even if I will have to work hard, I can't compete with my eldest son's college education.
          How sad, indeed!
           My misfortunes started off when in 2006, my mother who is a retired teacher ( good darn one) had a stroke. She survived but because after 3 months my beloved father died, she now limps for she asked the therapist to stop coming. She missed dad so badly. This was the biggest blow. I didn't feel like working. Can't seem to have the strength to do so. I never thought I would miss him so much. He was the most supportive dad in the whole wide world. After 3 months again, I got operated on because I was bleeding hard with a myoma uteri. I needed to undergo a total hysterectomy. My financial crisis started. I was forced to go to the loan sharks and the dilemna lingered. I labored hard. My class ends at 5:40pm and I will still go to my tutees. I usually get home at 9pm and hit the sack by 10:00. I love my family. This is what drives me. I hope to live longer for my children. God listens, I know.
          I just hope I can still enroll for my Masteral Degree. In that way, I can have a raise and live decently. 
          to be continued...